Parenting class offers strategies for helping teens make healthy decisions Published Feb. 3, 2014 By Chrisan Smith Family Advocacy Outreach Program Manager KIRTLAND AIR FORCE BASE, N.M. -- February is National Teen Dating Violence and Prevention Month, and the Department of Justice's Office of Violence Against Women has released statistics on teen dating and violence and the statistics are startling. · 33 percent of female teens in dating relationships have feared for their safety; · 25 percent of female teens report having been pressured to go further sexually than they wanted; · 20 percent of female teens in a relationship say they have been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. · 40 percent of teen girls say they know someone their own age who has been hit or beaten by a boyfriend. · And most alarming of all, 66 percent of teens tell no one. Dating violence comes in many forms. It can be constant name calling and put downs, pressure to use alcohol or drugs, or demands to be constantly available. Pressure to have sexual contact and rape are not unusual. A favorite tactic is isolating the teen from friends, family and activities that don't include the abuser. Digital abuse includes constant texting and instant messaging, use of social media to intimidate, and stalking through cell phones. Scratches, bruises and other marks are signs of physical abuse. Indicators a teen may be involved in an abusive relationship include unexplained physical injuries and changes in dress to cover injuries, making excuses for partner, and emotional outbursts. Falling grades, use of drugs or alcohol, changes in activities or friends can all be a cause for concern. Parents should also be looking for changes in mood or personality, the onset of depression or sadness or constant worrying about what the partner will think. What can parents do? Educate yourself about dating violence. Talk, talk, talk with your teen or preteen. Let them know you are aware of how prevalent dating violence is and how serious it is. Make sure your teen knows he or she can call you for a ride home without recrimination if he or she finds herself in an uncomfortable position--even if alcohol or drugs are involved. Make sure you know where your teen is going and with whom and know the cell phone numbers of her friends. Most of all listen, and if your teen is telling you something is going wrong in their life, make the time to carefully listen. Resist the urge to offer advice or put down the boyfriend or girlfriend. That can make the teen defensive. If you are interested in obtaining more information about helping your pre-teen or teen make healthy decisions, consider taking the class "Active Parenting of Teens" through the Family Advocacy Prevention Program. This class focuses on improving communication, helping teens develop courage and self-esteem, and helping them learn to make good choices. The class address the concerns of all parents of pre-teens and teens regarding drugs, sexuality, and violence. The next class is Feb. 13 through March 20. For more information, call 853-2522 or email chrisan.smith@us.af.mil.