Five factors for a healthy family Published April 1, 2011 By Chrisan Smith Family Advocacy Outreach Program Manager Kirtland Air Force Base, NM -- April is National Child Abuse Prevention Month. The U.S. Department of Health and Human Services has identified five things that contribute to family health and enhance parenting. They call these protective factors, "positive attributes that strengthen all families." The five protective factors considered the most important are: nurturing and attachment, knowledge of parenting and of child and youth development, parental resilience, social connections, and concrete supports for parents. Nurturing and attachment are essential for a child's healthy development, physically as well as emotionally. Children learn to trust the world by first learning to trust their parent to provide what they need. Infants cry and parents feed them, change their diaper, or just hold and rock them. Older children learn to rely not on just food, shelter and clothing, but also on parental hugs, "good job" and attending to them if they are sick or hurt. Teens need parents to be the wall they bounce off of until they are strong enough to stand on their own. Knowledge of parenting and child and youth development is vital for good parenting. Some believe that the leading cause of child abuse is lack of knowledge about parenting and development. The biggest mistake most parents make is expecting their child to be able to do something she/he is developmentally incapable of doing. Parents expect children to be able to reason, think logically, and examine potential consequences when we know that the part of the brain that governs impulse control and recognizes potential consequences does not develop until the late teens/early twenties. Parental resilience is the ability to deal with the everyday ups and downs and effectively handle the occasional crisis. Resilient parents have a positive attitude, see stumbling blocks as challenges and look forward to quality time with their family. They are much less likely to become frustrated and angry and "take it out" on the children. Resilient parents are honest with themselves about their own limitations and take advantage of opportunities for improvement. Social connections are those important networks of friends and family that keep families connected to something larger than them. Social isolation is deadly to parents and families. It is a contributing factor to domestic violence and child abuse. Parents and children need to be able to interact with others on a daily basis. This is especially true for military families who move often and have to re-establish relationships at each new base. The final protective factor is concrete supports for parents. Many factors beyond the parent-child relationship affect the healthy functioning of the family. Financial concerns can significantly affect parenting, as can health issues, child care issues, etc. Fortunately, the Air Force and our sister services have many concrete programs designed to assist families in times of need. Many of our Wingman Plus agencies have resources just waiting to be tapped. Airman and Family Readiness, the chapel, and Family Advocacy are good places to start to connect to the needed resource or service. So, this month of April, take the time to take stock of your family's protective factors and identify areas you can improve on, because, the good news is that protective factors can be strengthened. Again, many of the Wingman Plus agencies, as well as the child development centers, youth center, and Military Family Life Consultants have programs designed, specifically, to strengthen protective factors in parents and families.