Commentary: Finding the courage, resources to deal with life's challenges Published June 5, 2016 By Col. Eric Froehlich 377th Air Base Wing Commander KIRTLAND AIR FORCE BASE, N.M. -- In the book, "A Fighter's Mind: Inside the Mental Game," Sam Sheridan says, "The defining moment for a fighter isn't victory, but the way he deals with defeat." We are all fighters in some regard, and we all face defeat - often repeated defeat. Our relationships struggle, and can even come apart at the seams. We get passed over for promotion. We are saddled with unexpected financial demands. We lose people we love. We sit with the realities of our pasts, and ponder the directions of our futures. It isn't our job in these defeats to be superhuman. Rather, it is our job to show up, to be accounted for, and to put one foot in front of the other - no matter how ungraceful our footing may be. Daily life can be tricky in and of itself, and serving in our Air Force only compounds the demands put on the backs and hearts of Airmen. Sacrifice, as it relates to military service, isn't just about deployment. It's also about the daily minutiae of in-garrison operations - the long hours, the complicated interpersonal relationships, the extra duty taskers, the relinquishment of certain freedoms. And in these moments, it could be easy to lose sight of the monumental struggles we, and our fellow Airmen, are battling every day. One way to optimize how you deal with these struggles is to be a good steward of your own wellness. Do you pay attention to changes in your mood or thoughts? Have you defined the point at which you need to call a timeout? Do you have things to look forward to? Are you connected with a supportive social network? And when you are doing well, do you send the proverbial "elevator back down" to lift your fellow Airmen up? If you have the courage to "lean into your doubts and fears," as Col (Ret.) Lee Ellis recently advised, Kirtland AFB fortunately has many resources available to care for its community. I understand that reservations about seeking help have historically permeated the military culture. Many of these reservations, however, persist on the backs of myth. I encourage you to explore your options and ask questions of base caregivers. Allow them to educate you on your privacy rights. Asking questions does not commit you to ongoing services. (For your convenience, I have included a list of resources in this memo.) More than anything, our greatest resource is each other. We have a responsibility to be watchtowers for our fellow Airmen, uniformed and civilian alike. We have a responsibility to be their scaffolding when they are crumbling. But to be their scaffolding, we have to first pay attention and notice that they're crumbling. I am fortunate to be in a position in which I frequently hear stories of our Airmen helping and looking out for one another. You may think that your efforts go unnoticed, but they are noticed - and remembered. Day after day, you face defeat with the heart of a fighter. I am very proud of the character of our base community, and I encourage each of you to continue doing the work of looking after yourselves and each other. If you would like more information about suicide awareness and prevention, or would like someone to visit your unit on this topic, please contact Capt Joye Henrie, suicide prevention program manager, at 846-3305 or joye.henrie.1@us.af.mil.